Plans

THIS IS HOW I FEEL SOME DAYS!

There’s nothing like a bumping into an old friend at the grocery store and hearing encouraging words to remind you of the important things in life. Sometimes the words don’t mean much at the time they are said, but when they sink in, and God really takes hold of them in your heart, those words can really move mountains.

I’ve been so busy this year making plans and watching some of them thrive and others fail, that I’ve been too busy to complete some of my most important tasks, like reading my Bible every day, or spending more time with my niece (who by the way is growing up… way to fast).

How is it that we get so busy in our day to day life that we can’t accomplish the most simple tasks? There are some days I am so stretched for time, I don’t even remember what I ate in the morning, and can’t remember what I did the day before.

Trying to accomplish all of the goals and tasks in my day to day life can be exhausting. If I do this little task and this little task, then I will have time to do this big task. The truth is all of those little things get in the way of the big things. Waiting for the perfect time to do something important hasn’t seem to get me anywhere. Waiting for the perfect conditions hasn’t helped me at all. What I’ve come to realize this year is if I keep waiting and trying to accomplish all of the little things life throws at me, I’m not going to go anywhere.

Yes, sometimes all of those little tasks help me accomplish the big ones, but I need to figure out which ones are important and which can wait. There will always be laundry to do and dishes to wash, but are they more important that spending time with the little girl who happens to love dinosaurs? No. Am I going to continue to allow my work to come before my time with Jesus? I hope not.

“If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done,” Ecc 11:4 (New Living Translation)

What do you let come before the important things in life? What perfect conditions are you waiting for? I wan’t to know….

Forgiveness

Here is a topic I struggle with. Forgiveness. It’s helpful to know that others out there do too.

http://wilsonallgrownup.blogspot.com/2011/03/forgiveness.html

You know what I just realized about the word “forgiveness”? If you take of the “-ess” The word is “forgiven”. Do you think God did that on purpose? 🙂 Have a wonderful day!

What’s In A Name?

I have, for most of my life been fascinated with the meaning of names, why parents choose them, and how or if they affect one’s personality. I’ve always known the meaning of my name and have recently spent a lot of time pondering if I live up to it.

Cheerful

I like to think that I am a relatively happy, energetic, outgoing person, but the more I have thought about it, I’m not sure I live up to the meaning in my day-to-day living. You know, all the little areas of my life. Mostly in my thought life. I complain about situations, don’t always watch the tone and demeanor of my voice, I don’t like getting up in the morning, and choosing an outfit for the day are all things that I am sorry to say I am not always “Cheerful” in. As I was compiling my list of things I am cheerful in and it’s counter part of things I am not cheerful in, I was beginning to feel…well…a little down in the dumps…sorry for myself, and ashamed of not having the ability to live up to such a wonderful name.

Like a cat, the curiosity about my own name inspired me to look up the meaning of my middle name… And once again, God wrote me a love letter.

Jean is my middle name… already special because it was my mom’s mother’s middle name. But now, I appreciate and love it all the more.

God is Gracious

Yes, my middle name means “GOD IS GRACIOUS.” I couldn’t have learned this at a more perfect time. Feeling bad about not living up to my first name and here God say’s to me “Dear Daughter, You are not perfect, and not always cheerful, but I am gracious. You may falter, but I will give you grace to get back up.”

He’s right. I stumble, trip, fall. I make mistakes, try to cover them up, and dig my hole deeper. I am not always nice, not always helpful, not always cheerful. But God is ALWAYS kind, loving, leading. I will fail. He will prevail. I will sink. He will rise. I will shut doors. He will open them. Always gracious.

I am not. He is. So by the grace of God… I will be Cheerful in all my day-to-day living.

The Gingerbread Man

 

the fugitive

As a kindergarten teacher I am learning that life is full of surprises, simple thoughts and funny stories. A recent discussion with the five year old students I spend the majority of my waking hours with, caught me off guard and gave me a great laugh.

Each year we teach the kindergartners the fable of the Gingerbread Man. We read several different versions of the story and discuss them. The first version I read is the one we’ve all heard. A gingerbread boy is baked and then runs away from all sorts of people and animals, but eventually he succumbs to the fox, who tricks the gingerbread boy and eats him. Others are not so predictable. One story is about gingerbread pirates, another about gingerbread friends, and so on.

This is where we get into the mind and imagination of a five year old. We bake our very own gingerbread man for snack one day and to our surprise he is gone when we come in from recess! We look all over our school for our yummy treat, but he is no where to be found. No one has seen him… not even the principal.

This is a very sad event for the kindergartners, as we do not get snack this day… since he has run away, in fear that we would eat him. Which of course we had intended to do.

When we return to school the next day the Gingerbread Man has made us gingerbread cookies, to make up for running away and leaves us a lovely note. We as a class inturn leave him a note promissing not to eat him, if he will only come back and play. But of course the gingerbread man is a smart one. He does not return but continues to leave us notes.

Until… we read the story of the Gingerbread Baby.  A boy bakes a gingerbread baby who of course runs way. But the little boy comes up with the brilliant idea of  building a gingerbread house for his gingerbread baby. As you can probably guess, the gingerbread baby returns to the boy and lives in his new home.

At this point in the classroom, a kindergartner usually comes up with the same idea… to build a gingerbread house… so we do… and our gingerbread man returns.

The kindergartners are always shocked that our gingerbread man is not running around the classroom when he returns to us. I explain to them that he is very tired from doing all of that “running”. This is usually then end of the gingerbread man, the kindergartners go on about their business and learning and forget all about our week’s full of adventures…

Until I got this tricky question…

“Then why are his eyes open?”

What would you say to a five year old? 🙂

(A BIG THANK YOU to my fellow kindergarten teachers for all of their hard work and effort in to helping me through my first few years… and to their wonderful idea of Gingerbread Man Week.)

(The Gingerbread Baby is written by: Jan Brett)

What will you do with God’s Simple Gifts?   © Hillary Weller 2011

Unworthy Feelings

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel extremely unworthy of what God gives me. I make mistakes, sometimes small, sometimes colossal. But God just keeps giving. Even in the times I least deserve it. He provides new roads to travel, morning light for a new day and a new start, and grace beyond measure.

Maybe I just see more of what God gives me after I make a mistake. Or maybe it’s His way of letting me know that I have another chance at redemption. Or it could be because I need a change of heart in order to continue the process of becoming what He wants me to be. Whatever it is I know I could never appreciate the grace God provides me enough.

But each time I fall, He brings me just a little closer to Him, holds me snugly and says “Hold tightly dear child. You’re mine, and no matter the fall, I will pick you up and carry you home. This is only the beginning of your journey and I will make you whole.”

So each time I take a left turn when I should have traveled right, I will thank Him for steering me back to the path He paved for me. I’ll avoid as many selfish detours I sinfully whittle as I can. And try, try again, to continue to become what He desires me to be.

What will you do with God’s Simple Gifts?   © Hillary Weller 2010

The Passing Of The Pies

My family, like most, has the wonderful tradition of gathering together every Thanksgiving Day to spend it thanking God for what he has given each of us and celebrating the gift of family love. This will be the 24th time I have driven the short distance to my Grandma Ila’s home on Thanksgiving Day… a drive I look forward to each year. I’m not sure how many turkey’s my Grandma Ila has prepared but my guess would be in the 50’s. As the years have gone by many changes have blessed our family. Children and grandchildren have been born, Loved ones have joined our family and few have gone on to a better place… but one thing has never changed… the pie making. My Grandma Ila has always made delicious pies… pumpkin, cheery, apple, and on and on. We can hardly wait until it’s time to play a game of cards and eat a piece of Grandma’s yummy pie.With the passing of my Grandpa Keith and as my Grandma nears the age of 85 she has begun to pass heirlooms and traditions on… and I have been given the gift of pie making.

In a recent visit to my Grandma’s house for lunch, she pulled me into her office to share memories from her childhood days and stories about her mother. We laughed together and cried together, something we often do when we spend precious time together. As we were having “Grandma and granddaughter time” she shared with me that she thought it was time that someone else begin to take on the Thanksgiving tradition of pie making. She’s not the type to want to burden others, so it was her way of feeling out my thoughts on the issue. So when I showed interest in taking on the “responsibility” she asked me if I would make the pies from now on. Of course I said yes, as baking is one of my favorite things to do, but more so because it would mean I would become more like my Grandma. I can only hope that my pies will one day be prepared with a gentle, caring and Jesus filled heart as my dear Grandma Ila’s.

What will you do with God’s Simple Gifts?   © Hillary Weller 2010

Rebel Dishwasher

Recently my colleagues were discussing dishwashers and what one would do without one. I, was not an immediate part of the discussion but felt the urge to give them my input anyway. When I told them that my family had never owned a dishwasher, nor did I feel the need to ever want one as an adult, they seemed shocked… almost dumbfounded that anyone could ever survive without a dishwasher. My sakes, what kind of person is that? Rebel, hippy maybe? I got the feeling that my “crazy ideas” were not welcome in their conversation. So when a response to my comment was “Oh, you will… just wait until you have children, you will defiantly change your mind!!” I left the room feeling like a wounded deer. My head hung in shame as I quietly shut the door to the teacher workroom.

As I was walking down the hallway back to my classroom, I began to think of why I wouldn’t want a dishwasher… many wonderful memories of my childhood and college years flooded my mind. My “young and hippy ideas” only became more firm as I reminisced. I DON’T WANT A DISHWASHER!! This is the statement I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs for everyone to hear.

You see, there is a simplicity about not owning a dishwasher. And many lessons that had been learned… for me at least… while rolling up my sleeves and washing dishes by hand. I cannot recall the number of discussions with God, my mom, best friend, and mentor… in which, I learned a valuable lesson while hand washing dishes. I learned that “I will fall in love one day”, that I deserve better, I learned all the words to “Que Sera, Sera,” how much Jesus loves me, how to let go of the past, that mistakes are only lessons to be learned, how to defend myself, how to forgive… I could go on forever. I learned about my mother’s childhood and teenage years, I heard love stories, practiced algebra, recited forensics plays, practiced my cheers… I fought with my sister, cried tears, laughed with my best friend, and even fell in love doing the dishes with my bare hands. I also ruined nails, broke glasses and plates, cut my hand… and several times screamed out loud when no one was around.

Would I have learned these lessons had I just loaded a dishwasher and pressed a button… maybe… but maybe not. I prefer to think that hand dishwashing is a lost art… in which we learn lessons, get to know ourselves better, and spend precious time with loved ones. So many of my finest memories are from the times I have spent washing the dishes by hand. Most of them are memories that have shaped me and trading them in for a machine would shatter my hopes of the lessons that will be learned in the future.

I conclude that I will stay dishwasher free… even if I am considered a “rebel.”

What will you do with God’s Simple Gifts?   © Hillary Weller 2010

I Come Simply Believing

Today, I come to your table Father, simply believing. Believing that you have good plans to prosper and save, to heal and love. For no one is better at these things than you.

What will you do with God’s Simple Gifts?   © Hillary Weller 2010

No Thanks For The “Thanks”

As a teacher, many of the things I do go unnoticed. I spend endless hours working on lesson plans, cutting paper, and preparing for days I spend teaching. Although some parents see how much work and effort goes into just one day I spend with their children, most take it for granted. As for the little ones, they are more worried about what is for lunch and whom they will play with at recess than how long it took Miss Weller to make play-dough or color macaroni noodles.

I, by no means entered the profession of teaching to receive endless praise for the job I do. It is, in pleasant words, a thankless job.

I have often pondered the reason God chose teaching for me. Is it because I work well with children? Because I have zero patience for adults but have abundance for children? Perhaps it is because I am a mere five feet tall and they are able to relate to me?

No, I don’t think it is any of those reasons. Although the last does seem to help when the children want me to join in a game they are playing.

An experience today gave me another of my epiphanies. I am a self-absorbed, credit seeking, sinner. I thrive on receiving attention for the things I do. Whether it be a “Wow, those brownies are delicious”, or a “You are so good at scrap-booking, etc.” Or a plain “Thank you.”

Today I made dinner for a family member to be nice. Or so I thought. But when I did not immediately receive a “Thank you” I was insulted. You could even say that I was angry that I didn’t receive the gratitude I thought I deserved. I was so outraged that by the time I got a “We loved what you made for dinner”, I almost couldn’t accept their appreciation.

This little incident made me examine the past on why I do things for other people. Was I doing nice things for people because I wanted God to receive the praise or because I, personally, wanted to receive the praise? I am ashamed to say I believe many times it is the latter of the two. 

By now I am sure you are asking yourself… “Where in the world is she going with this? She’s not making any sense.”

Well, I, my friend will tell you.

Because much of my sin comes from seeking glory for myself, God has chosen a “Thank-less” field for me to work in. What a genius.

Now I know God knows it is important for all people to get a simple “Thank you” now and then… He also knows my heart and what I struggle with. He is keeping me balanced.

Imagine if I were a famous singer and was always being told what a fabulous voice I had… I would become a narcissistic monster with an ego the size of Texas. I would probably fall into other sins because of how fantastic I thought I was.

But because God knows what would happen to me if I were in another profession, He handpicked teaching for me. To keep me under control. And to keep me from receiving the glory that belongs to Him.

You know what to funny thing is about my job? I have never once felt under appreciated. Seeing the wheels turning in my student’s minds and the smiles on their faces keep me going. I never need a “Thank you Miss Weller” to have an enjoyable day at school.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” – Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

What will you do with God’s Simple Gifts?   © Hillary Weller 2010

Intricate Memories

Today I am thankful for the ability to see. If you know me well, you are aware that I cannot function with out my contacts or glasses. Putting on my make-up in the morning or answering the door would be a difficult task if I did not have my contacts or glasses. And I still take for granted the immense detail that is in this world.

God has created so much beauty for us to look at. I’m ashamed to say that I don’t take the time to see all of the detail He has created. But when I do take a moment to slow down and look around, I am always amazed at what I have missed in the busy moments of my life. I take for granted all of the detail that was put into creating such a diverse and beautiful world.

Together let’s look at each season and something God created for us to enjoy with the gift of sight. 

Spring- I love the rain, the new flower buds, and the way the wind feels against my cheeks. All things that come with spring remind me of being renewed by the Spirit of God. Each spring we plant our gardens and wait anxiously for them to grow. I am always filled with joy when I see the tiny green leaves peep through the dirt.

Summer – As a farmer’s daughter and a seven (or was it eight) year veteran of “scale girl” at a local COOP, I developed a love for the wheat harvest. I love the smell of this wonderful season; a mix of soil, wheat, hard work, and love for his work only a farmer knows. When I was a little girl I can remember going round and round with my dad on the tractor and playing in the piles of wheat he’d bring home. I am still to this very day amazed at the process wheat goes through to get to our tables. Each tiny grain, golden and perfectly formed.

Fall- Go back to your childhood. Do you remember the feeling of running as fast as you can and leaping into the pile of leaves that took three hours to rake up in the fall? How good it felt to hear them crunch under the weight of your body. How about walking home from school and watching the red, orange, and brown leaves falling from the trees. Carefully choosing the “perfect” ones to take home? Or going outside with your kindergarten teacher to pick five leaves… only five leaves… (how could you possibly choose just five!) to take back to class and make “rubbing” art with crayons. Do you remember what those rubbing pictures looked like? In your mind can you see all of the veins spidering off from the main line and how each leaf was made “just so”. Each leaf with a line of symmetry but differing a little from one to the next. 

Winter- Bundle up now. There is snow on the ground. Can you see your breath in the crisp chilly air? Can you feel the excitement welling up in you as you watch the snowflakes fall from your living room window. The anticipation of the possibility of missing school the next day. But it was more than that! In the morning if there was enough snow… you… could… build… a… SNOWMAN! What an amazing feeling it was to see snow as a child. I can remember riding in my mother’s big black car in the winter and looking at the snowflakes that were stuck to the windshield. How beautiful they were. No two snowflakes were identical. But more than that they were so tiny, yet so intricately made. I remember wondering “Who made them all?” and how much time must have been put into each one. Each snowflake was a different shape, a different size, and had thousands of pointy splinters coming off each side. Each snowflake was unlike any other.

Think of all of these things. And how special they are. How each flower bud, grain of wheat, snowflake and leaf was made with so much in mind. Each item was designed a specific way with a specific purpose. If each of these is made so intricately, how much more are we, the Children of God made? How much more special are we? Ponder. God created the beautiful you.

What will you do with your Simple Gifts?     © Hillary Weller 2010